How old does a child have to be in NY State to decide what parent to live with?

My ex and I have had shared physical custody of our children for about the past 10 years, spend every other week with the other parent, my ex now maybe moving about 25 miles away, this will cause my oldest who is 14 and in 9th grade to want to stay with me regularly, I would love that to be honest but... I would never try to persuade her, and out of fairness I would like to discuss this with her mom, the thing is that I believe her mom thinks she can force her to move, I believe at 14 it is her choice,but I want to be sure before I say anything. My 9 year old son would want to stay too but I believe the court would have to make that call, I am remarried and the children have 2 other sibling who live here also.